College finally begun, and Explore finally ended.

Explore was nice, I made alot of new friends, I got to discover a city that is not that fun, but where I still managed to enjoy. It's all about knowing the town, alone or with people.

College, it's only the second week, but I already like it. It's huge and different, making the statement "new start" sound so true in so many ways..

I

AM

SORRY

( I was tempted to write "legend" instead of "sorry" but then my apology would have failed xD )

I'm not writing much since the last week, I'm sorry, I discovered that LJ was blocked by the school's web.
That sucks. A LOT.

my project of writing a journal each day is failing hard, because I don't have access to the computer each day. Oh well, as long as you know that I'm alive, it's fine :D.

I went to chinatown not long ago. I confess it's not as big as NYC, but it's pretty cool. Mybe because we don't have one in quebec city xD thing is, I found WHITE CHOCOLATE POCKY. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME.

I loved them ^w^

I also tasted litci buble tea in a little vietnamese-sino-japanese cafe, it was godly delicious, totally wth the 5 bucks ( I took the large format ). Also I found tons of sushi bars and little shops were you can buy everything you can buy in an asian grocery store. I felt awesome xD

I also ate in the hard ock cafe, and they served us drinks. I admit that it was a little bit expensive, but it was totally worth it. I had a famours hard rock cafe hamburger with delicious fries and a pina colada. I loved it, and we had a pretty good time with the girls with who I live and a new friend of mine who lives in montreal. Unfortunaly, she's sick today. But anyways, I'll go watch harry potter 6 with the girls.

Sunday I went go-karting with the program. I AM FREAKING DANGEROUS. I crashed like 4 times, I hurt myself on a leg (which still hurts), and I broke my car xD fotunately, they managed to fix it, so I won't pay anything xD afterwards, I played pool. I won 1 time x)

Last week I went to Our Lady Peace's concert in Ottawa.

B
O
R
I
N
G

poeple were taking pictures ALL ALONG.
no one was headbanging
no one was jumping
people were barely screaming
and something like 50% of the people was signing.

I had the impression of losing 40 bucks, although the music was pretty good. But the crowd was just NOT into it. Plain boring

"HAI GUISE I'M GONNA BE HARCORE SO I'M GONNA BODYSURF LOLOLOL111111!!!!!!!!!!!!"
yeah, there was an orgy of bodysurfers. three are OK, three thousand=not cool.


I gotta run, I hope to write again here soon =D

see ya!

today I had my first classes with my group, and yesterday there were some ice-breaker activities.

It was pretty awesome.

Yesterday I met up with this girl I met at elementary school and with who I lost contact for all these years. She changed a lot. Even though we didn't got along well during elementary school, we could speak a lot about music and laugh a while yesterday. It's good to see that people can change, after all.
The ice breaker activities though, were shit. The monitors had no imagination at all, we played things that put on more awkward silence, it was ironic at the same time though x)

I met so many new people, and I feel like an ass for not remembering their names, I feel so bad x(
I got to work hard on that.
There are many people who come from Spain this year. So I understand everything of what they say. I get along with one spanish guy whose name is Pablo, I just love his spanish accent. It's just so...awesome, and hot, and cool, and classy and OH GOD I LOVE IT. EVERY SINGLE SPANISH-SPEAKING GUY ON EARTH SHOULD SPEAK LIKE THAT. God Spanish people are hot x)

Also, when the day was over, the girls and I had to wait something like a hour and half before our foster parent arrived. She thought that we had finished at four o'clock, when in fact we finished at tree. Oh well.

Today I met the people of my class. I am on an advanced lever *pride* and one of the girls is with me. The first class was so damn boring since the teacher spoke about herself all along. The second class though was way more interesting, since the teacher organised an ORIGINAL ice-breaker game based on m&m's and their colors. It was really cool. I met a lot of new poeople. What is less cool is that I have homework for tomorrow already.

that sucks.

hence, gotta run, duty is calling me...

I finally got to Ottawa.

Well, actually, it`s technically my third day in here, since I came with mom and dad and spent some time in Ottawa`s downtown. But today, I came to my family`s home. I got actually more than I expected. I`m very happy here; this is a very nice, lovely family, full of love and energy. I get along better with this girl who`s living with us. Her name`s kanishia ( actually I don`t know how to spell her name, I feel bad for it -_- ). The two other girls are nice too. I`m sure we`ll laugh a lot during this experience.

GOD I HATE THIS KEYBOARD. my fingers slip from touch to touch, so I have to write the same word like three times before I get it. But it`s a phenomenon that happens even with my normal keyboard. Anyways~

I`m eager to know the other people of the program. It looks like fun, and above all, not so bad. It looks so much more fun than I thought!

That's disgusting.

Two days ago we had to present a short documentary on front of the class. One of our classmates decided to do it about Salvia. He filmed himself with one of his friends SMOKING salvia and getting high in front of the class. People were laughing at the effects of salvia. But I wasn't. I found it too personal, too sad. Yeah,  I know it's a legal drug and that they wanted actually to be filmed on their high trip. But I saw it like a drunk person being filmed. It's too personal, you're not aware of your world. You drag yourself down to an animal-like state. It's like if you needed to get high in order to stimulate creativity and imagination, which I find illogical and stupid. I didn't laugh, I felt sorry for them actually...

People can be pathetic sometimes

I'm pretty much bored, since is friday and I've got a lot of things to do but I can't do since I'm sick. Wonderful weekend on perspective.
Tomorrow I'll see a play done by a lot of my friends, I can't wait to see it, they talked a lot about it these last weeks.

At the library I borrowed a book to learn japanese, I've been studying it all week long and now I've written eight lessons, I'm veru proud of it ^^

Here's a test I stole grom Ryokenshi LJ.

Bold = True
Italics = Semi-true

I am 5'4" or shorter Well actually I am 5' .... 
I think I'm ugly 
I have many scars
I tan easily
I wish my hair was a different colour
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
I have a tattoo
I am self-conscious about my appearance. 
I have/ I've had braces 
I wear glasses 
I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger  Yeah but the guy was like 30 years old... and another one was a very old man. Not funny.
I hev more than two piercings (I would like to....) 
I have piercings in places besides my ears
I have freckles

family/home life

I've sworn at my parents Once and never did again and will never do again
I've been kicked out of the house
My biological parents are together
I have a sibling less than one year old
I want to have kids someday
I have children
I've lost a child

Embarrassment

I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation
Disney movies still make me cry
I've snorted while laughing
I've laughed so hard I've cried 
I've glued my hand to something
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose Coffee.
I've had my pants rip in public

Health

I was born with a disease/impairment
I've had stitches
I've broken a bone
I've had my tonsils removed
I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend
I've had my wisdom teeth removed I was going to but then it turned out that I don't need them removed (yet) very soon my time will come T_T
I had a serious surgery I was very little 
I've had chicken pox

Traveling

I've driven over 200 miles in one day I didn't drove the car but instead I had the map 
I've been on a plane
I've been to Canada It's my home XD 
I've been to Niagara Falls Canadian side is waaay more beautiul :3 
I've been to Japan
I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans 
I've been to Europe (Ohhh I would like to...) 
I've been to Africa
I've been to France

Experiences

I've been lost in my city
I've seen a shooting star
I've wished on a shooting star
I've seen a meteor shower
I've gone out in public in my pajamas
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
I've been to a casino
I've been skydiving
I've gone skinny dipping
I've played spin the bottle
I've crashed a car
I've been skiing
I've been in a play More than once XD 
I've met someone in person from the internet From whom I bought two CD's
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue
I've seen the Northern Lights
I've sat on a roof top at night (I would like to)
I've played chicken
I've played a prank on someone
I've ridden in a taxi
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
I've eaten Sushi So good..~
I've been snowboarding

Relationships

I'm single
I'm in a relationship
I'm available
I'm engaged
I'm married
I've gone on a blind date
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper
I miss someone right now
I have a fear of abandonment
I've been divorced
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back 
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did
I've kept something from a past relationship

Sexuality


I've had a crush on someone of the same gender
I've kissed a member of the same gender
I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender
I've had sex with someone of the same gender
I've had sex with more than one person at the same time
I am a cuddler
I've been kissed in the rain
I've had sex outdoors
I've hugged a stranger
I have kissed a stranger
I have had sex with a stranger

Honesty/Crime

I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't
I have lied to my parents about where I am
I am keeping a secret from the world
I've cheated while playing a game
I've cheated on a test
I've run a red light
I've been suspended from school  because I wrote on a note with my friend that I wanted to punch a teacher...and got caught XD (secondary 2 )
I've witnessed a crime
I've been in a fist fight
I've been arrested
I've shoplifted  ...a candy, once, long ago. I never did that again, I felt too guilty XD

Drugs/Alcohol

I've consumed alcohol
I smoke cigarettes
I smoke pot
I regularly drink
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them
I've done hard drugs
I've been addicted to an illegal substance
I take cough meds when I'm not sick
I can't swallow pills 
I can swallow 5 pills at a tim with no problem 

Mental health

I have been diagnosed with depression
I shut others out when I'm depressed
I take anti-depressants
I have an eating disorder
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it
I've hurt myself on purpose
I'm addicted to self harm
I've woken up crying from a bad dream once

Death

I'm afraid of dying 
I hate funerals
I've seen someone dying
I have attempted suicide
Someone close to me has attempted suicide But I didn't met him when it happen

Random

I can sing well
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant
I open up to others too easily
I don't kill bugs
I curse regularly
I sing in the shower
I am a morning person
I paid for my cell phone ring tone
I am a snob about grammar
I am a sports fanatic
I play with my hair
I have/had "x"s in my screen name
I love being neat  but for some strange reason my room, my locker as well as my school stuff is a big mess
I've copied more than 30 CDs in a day
I bake well ...if I try XD
My favorite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
I don't know how to shoot a gun does a carabin count?
I am in love with love A helpless romantic I am
I man guilty of TyPiNg LiKe ThIs  (haha I've never been cool X) ) 
I laugh at my own jokes
I eat fast food weekly
I believe in ghosts well more in energies and angels...
I am online 24/7, even as an away message 
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room ...depends on the size of the spider. When it's the size of my thumb it just scares me XO
I am really ticklish In some places at least XD
I love white chocolate HELL YEAH
I bite my nails Only when I'm really stressed or tired
I play video games ...a lot
I'm good at remembering faces
I'm good at remembering names
I'm good at remembering dates
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
I've been honest while filling out this meme.

Oh how I love this, it's gratifying~

IT PISSES ME OFF

when I want badly some ice cream, and someone tells "why not share one ice cream between you, that person, and me?".
NO
you NEVER share an ice cream
never
it's like sharing a lolipop, sharing saliva with people you don't even kiss
yuck.

And no one buys you the goddamn ice cream
and everyone around you is eatin one fucking ice cream
and you have to watch your weight for the graduation ball
and it doesn't even works.

Life is hard sometimes XD

Speaking about hard life, in school we had a conference done by a guy who had a horrible car accident where he lost his arm. And despite that, he became one of the world's best cyclists. He spoke us of choices, motivation, and consequences. I truly admire him. He told us that life is hard, yet beautiful. A very strong and wise man despite his young age. A model. I hope someday to be as wise and strong as he is.

I seem to have forgotten this blog
I didn't
I just hadn't enough time to write here. Or when I did I just forgot what to write and got distracted by random youtube videos. I'm so sorry...T_T

Where do I begin with...well this summer I go to Ottawa to an english immersion with the Explore program ( I was goint to write this a while ago but I forgot, that's why I feel like I'm repeating myself all over again XD)
I just hope I'll pick a good family to stay with during the whole five-week program

Today is a bad day.
Well, there is this friend of mine, I thought we were really close friends, she was my "twin" (we were born the same date) and I always thought I could trust her. Today she let me definetely down, in the way that I trusted her, I told her secrets. But she never took me seriously, she never told me anything. I felt manipulated, I hate it.

Tellement de choses sont arrivées...et si peu de temps pour les raconter! Vous m'en voyez désolée....

J'ai reçu ma réponse du programme Explore. Eh oui, je pars en immersion anglaise cet été à Ottawa. Je vais passer cinq semaines en famille d'accueil, avec des gens de mon âge, à développer mon anglais. J'ai tellement hâte! surtout que maintenant je meurs d'ennui à petits feux.... Je veux connaître toujours du nouveau monde, j'ai une envie de nouveau qui me dévore toujours davantage, qui me ronge de l'intérieur. C'est pas que je n'aime pas ma vie. Au contraire, je l'adore. Mais j'aspire pour des nouvelles choses, je veux aller ailleurs, découvrir, respirer et admirer l'azur du ciel couchée sur l'herbe, avec le soleil sur mon visage...c'est drôle. Je m'ennuie mortellement et pourtant la vie est là, toute étendue devant moi. Il y a tellement de personnes que je connais pas. Je pourrais tellement occuper mes soirées à pratiquer, à discuter, à appeller mes amis et ma famille. Mais je ne le fais pas. Je suis fatiguée constamment, je n'arrive pas à dormir avant 11h30-12H00 du soir, et pourtant, je n'ai aucune raison de me plaindre; tous mes amis et toute ma famille (bref, tout mon entourage) est de loin plus occupé et plus responsable que moi. Je vis d'une manière pathétique, irrésponsable, désordonnée. Ces deux dernières semaines j'ai la tête ailleurs, je ne suis pas où j'en suis et je suis sur la lune constamment. J'ai rarement été aussi distraite. Et le pire c'est que je sais même pas pourquoi.

Lundi je présentais un monologue (pièce de théâtre) dans le cadre de mon cours de théâtre à l'école. C'était en vers et c'étais assez cocasse de me voir en robe des années 1880. Ça s'est super bien passé, je me sens fière :3

There are so many things to tell...and so little time to tell them....

I recieved my answer for the program Explore. Yes, I'm going to be in an english immersion this summer in Ottawa. Il will pass five weeks with a family I don't know yet, with people of my age. I will develop my english. I can't wait! And even more NOW, now that I'm dying of boredom. I want so bad to meet new people, I want so bad something new and that desire is consuming me every day, it eats me from the inside. Not that I don't love my llife, I love it. But I long for something new, I want to go somewhere else, I want to discover, I want to breath deep and watch the blue sky, laying down on the fresh grass, with the sun warming my face...it's kinda funny. I get so bored, yet life is just there, by my side. There are so many people that I don't  know. I could pull myself together and practice, talk, call family and friends...But I don't just do it.  I'm constantly tired, I can't sleep until 11 PM- Midnight, yet I don't have any reason to complain for; all the people I know are, by far so much more busy and responsable than I am. I live in a pathetic, irresponsible, desordonated way. These last two weeks I can't seem to find my mind.  I don't know why I am so distracted. I live constantly in the clourd or in the moon. I have rarely been so distracted before. And the worst, is that I don't know why.

Monday I presented a monologue with my theater course in the school. It was in old english and is was quite funny to see me with a green, old granme, 1880's style dress. It was nice, I feel proud :3